Thank you for utilizing the Gling & La Yesterday Machine. To get the most out of this new device, here are some easy tips regarding proper use, troubleshooting, and maintenance.

   1. PROPER USE The Yesterday Machine has been cobbled together from pieces of foam, rotted newspaper, titanium knee screws, light bulb glass, car deodorizers, used playing cards, wind and ghosts. Utmost care has been taken to assure that the finest technology assures robust operation and a pleasurable, beneficial user experience. Click around the various interfaces of the Yesterday Machine (YM) to access information, both visual and aural. Do no fear the YM. Make yourself large. Shout. The YM was designed to be compatible with most human ears and eyeballs.

   2. TROUBLESHOOTING As the YMís various modes of operation are generally predictable, most problems can be solved by ignoring the conventional, and looking for the unexpected. Of course, anticipating the unexpected can be a rigorous task, so let the YM take care of this by sorting through inputs that are provided and gleaning conforming results.

   3. MAINTENANCE As previously mentioned, the utmost care in component selection has gone into the YM to assure many years of trouble-free use. However, given the unpredictable nature of recycled plasticine portal products, the YM may perform outside its intended parameters. When this occurs, simply shake a chicken in the middle of the room and have a party.

DO NOT:

Immerse the YM in any liquid
Try to replace parts yourself; although your hair may look the same, it may not fit
Use the YM while driving
Eat the YM, or try to force others to
Use the YM as a stool, tire, screwdriver or flotation farben.

You may contact Gling & La with suggestions, optional input, alternate theories, harangues, kisses, corn husks, recordio disks, viewtrola reels or any other materials or ideas, that may or may not be incorporated into the future operation of the YM. Direct all inquiries/suggestions/money/used pea hulls to yesterdaymachine@waxingpoetics.net All materials become the property of the Robot At The Helm. DO NOT CROSS HIM. Again, thank you for visiting, and enjoy the Yesterday Machine.


LEGAL DISCLAIMER: No warranty is implied, suggested, guaranteed or assumed by reading this document. You are responsible for any liabilities, fraud, waste or abuse that occurs in the operation of the Yesterday Machine. Gling & La and its subsidiaries make no claim as to the medical effectiveness of this product. Use at the risk of others, if you can. Spread the danger around. Comb your hair. Stay in your room. Eat your vegetables. Wash thoroughly.